Just a dream, thank Odin!

I’ve had one nightmare a month so far this year, and they’ve been getting scarier and scarier! Normally I only have about two a year. It’s creeping me out a bit.

I arrived at some sort of hostel with a broken leg that was still recuperating. Inside it was really cozy and a woman (who was my second grade teacher in real life, Mrs. Doromal) promised everything would be ok here. They’d help with lots of therapy, mental and physical, and I’d be good as new again. Doromal said she’d seen the x-rays – it was a shocker of a break.

Memories came flooding back to me about the ex-boyfriend that had beaten me, the broken bone jutting out of my leg at a 45 degree angle, the extremely painful surgeries, the seemingly never-ending recovery. (I’m not sure if all this happened earlier in the dream or if it’s a continuation of another dream, but don’t worry, none of this happened for real.) Tears started streaming down my cheeks – I was so relieved and grateful that finally I could live a normal pain-free life again.

She carried out a routine checkup, and suddenly all my intestines, stomach and esophagus were on the table for examination. I was walking around the living room with this empty feeling inside of me. I coughed a couple of times and could feel something drip from inside my throat and land in the bottom of my torso. I mentioned this to Doromal and the other lady that was apparently the doctor. In the dream I knew this was a regular check for kids about 6 years old, and I told her about one of my friends that had died of meningitis as a result of it.

They decided everything must go except my esophagus. I stared panicking. How could I eat? They showed me my new plastic digestive system wrapped in one of these white sterilised packages you see in hospitals. Won’t it be really uncomfortable and maybe even painful while my intestines are settling back in? The answer, yes.

I was forced to lie back on a chair. I was gripping the back of the seat, and when the doctor starting drawing a line across my stomach of where to make the incision, I started yelling and screaming – not something I had consciously meant to do, even if I was freaked out. Doromal yelled STOP! Two of my fingernails were blood red and two others were a purplish green.

They told me to relax, I’d be fine. My dog came over to me and I started petting him. My blood pressure instantly dropped and my fingers were starting to look normal. They lay me back on the chair, Doromal saying Quickly, quickly! I felt the incision and my stomach being sliced open, but they must have administered some hefty local anaesthetics beforehand because there was no pain. I instantly felt relief and my whole body relaxed for a split second.

Suddenly my chest tensed up completely. I knew my heart had stopped. My whole being focused on my chest for just a moment, and then release. I probably died, but instead I woke up.

How creepy is that!

~ by Mamo on March 23, 2008.